online dating

Frum and Single, How Do You Find Your Mate?

If you are newly frum and single, you may fear that you have come to the end of your dating life. There are so many misconceptions about how religious Jews find their spouse. Sometimes these myths even keep people from becoming religious.

Yes, Religious Singles Date

The secular life dating scene can be an endless rollercoaster of love easily found and quickly lost. Sometimes fortune smiles on you and you find THE ONE, but more often than not, the passion for that “one” peters out after a few weeks. And then you begin again and again and again.

In the religious world the objective is different. The goal is to find the one you want to settle down with for the rest of your life. With this goal in mind, the criteria for that special “one” changes, not that chemistry and appearance are not important. The difference is that rather than beginning with a shared interest in music, movies or zodiac sign, we begin with a shared value system, shared interest in religious observance and in how the children will be raised.

So How Do Religious Jews Date?

Actually, many of the dating methods are the same, such as online dating sites and singles events. The additional tool is the shadchan, or matchmaker.
There are several popular and successful frum Jewish online dating sites, including such new ones as Sawyouatsinai.com, kriasyamsuf.com and zivugzone.com. These sites cover the globe and religious affiliation, are safe, usually free, and managed by professionals whose goal is to help you find your spouse. I personally know quite a few very happy families today who got their start through one of these online frum dating sites.

Jewish community organizations in all major cities host a number of singles events throughout the year. Sawyouatsinai also hosts singles events, in addition to their online platform. These are non-pressure events so check the calendar and go. You might be very surprised. Oh, and they are fun too, plus there is food and drinks, so what’s not to like?

And then there is the shadchan—matchmaker. Single men and women of all ages meet with the shadchan, talk about their goals and requirements, and the shadchan sets about making matches. All communication initially takes place through the shadchan which is great because it relieves you of that awkward moment when the other one asks, “So when are we getting together again?” and you are thinking, “oy vey!”

Frum dating in a nutshell. Don’t be afraid to explore and remember, you have not entered the dark ages just because you have become religious.

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